Being In Love With Being Minor

   I often think of inspiring people as those who have been through a Major Life experience. Those that have been through a major loss, debilitating depression, major illness, addiction, a natural disaster, a profound spiritual experience,  or have been drastically affected by someone that has and can find a way to take that experience and continue to live on with a shining light in their souls. Profound perspective, and life altering inspiration can often be found from people who have been through these things. Many articles, blogs, and books have been written about or by Major Lifers. (I am in awe and inspired daily by some Major Lifers in my life)

  I can honestly say that I am not a Major Lifer. I have been through my share of Minor Life experiences. Short term, non-life threatening, but yet acutely painful experiences. Humiliating, humbling, and spiritual experiences. Exciting, exhilarating, and acutely joyous experiences. And yet to feel that my experiences are worth sharing or of any importance to anyone other than myself is a hard thought to process! Why would anyone want to hear about me.....

You see here is the thing. I often feel like I am alone in the world. That no one could possible understand what I am going through. That no one else has ever thought my thoughts or felt my pain. I believe I feel so alone for two reasons. #1. Because I am so worried with how I am perceived. I'm pretty sure it doesn't look good to have  absolutely no clue what is going on or how to handle it. ( I feel like that 90% of the time).  #2. I am not a Major Lifer.

   I can find places all over to talk about or get support for the Majors Life experiences. But who talks about their Minor Life experiences? What kind of people are they?  Are they Whiners? Selfish? Ungreatful People? (I don't want to blefieve I am any of those things.....I mean really who does? ) Who would want to hear about me??  Are my problems really that bad?? They feel so Damn hard to me!!! Aren't I suppose to feel so grateful and blessed that I haven't had to live through one of these Major Life experiences? Why do I feel cheated? Did I just say that? or feel that??? Cheated out of a Major Life experience that would allow me or others to feel like I have done something or lived through something that is worth while? Worthy of sharing? Worthy of inspiration or truth. Am I allowed to talk about my Minor Life experiences?

  Well I don't know the answer, but I am tired of feeling alone. I have to believe that there are more of me out there. I have to believe that all of you Minor Lifers still have struggles like I do. And I have a feeling that if more of us Minor Lifers speak up we will find that there are more of us than we think.

   I have spent a lot of time believing that God does not believe in me or that I have let him down in some way. I have felt like I have been drifting, wallowing, waiting for that Major Life experience to set me strait and down the path that he has chosen for me. That I must be doing something wrong for him to not speak clearly to me.  But maybe that is not my test. Maybe my test is that I have to Choose my path and be happy with it. That there is not a certain path I need to follow, but rather whatever path I choose I can do good, and God will be pleased. But I have to CHOOSE! I have to make a choice. I have to stop waiting for someone to tell me what to do, or for something to happen that makes the choice clear. I have to trust in God that it is ok to trust in myself and to make a choice.


   So I choose to share! I choose to share my Minor Life experiences and hope that others will read about them and not feel alone in the world. That having something to give or share is not about the magnitude of the experiences that we go through, but about how we choose to move forward. My self worth is not dictated by my experiences. It is dictated by how I choose to perceive myself and how I choose to move forward from them.

But now that all the grand words have been said, and the feeling of epiphany has been achieved, I still have to act. I still have to choose. The Queen of self doubt, and uncertainty still has to go forward and believe what she is saying and act on it. I know I will stumble and fall flat on my face many times, but guess what, forgiveness is part of learning to love yourself too! Forgiving and then getting up and choosing to move on.
So here is to all you Minor Lifers out there. Your experiences matter. Your story is worth while. You have something to give, a light to offer, a path that you have traveled. And it's good!